Here is some of my favorite recipes
Jiffy Corn Muffins
-Get the box of Jiffy brand cornbread mix
-Follow The instructions on the box
-Put the mix in a muffin tin sprayed with baking spray
-Cook it in the oven
Steak and Potatoes
Chicken broth cubes or just regular broth
Montreal Steak seasoning
Rub the steaks down with the montreal steak seasoning and leave them out at room temperature for a spell. Get the cast iron skillet really hot. 5 minutes each side cookin on the steak, but 7 minutes if your steak is thicker. Last few minutes use some butter and baste the steak with the butter while turning the pan at an angle.
Skin and chop the potatoes, boil them until a fork easily pierces them. Drain the water into a measuring cup with 2 chicken cubes in it to make broth. Get some butter about 3 tbsp and mix it in then get an electric hand mixer and slowly incrementally pour the broth into the potatoes and mix it in until desired consistency is reached.
You can do this stuff at the same time
2 Cupz Self Rising Flour (Southern Biscuit or the Hudson Creamery Flour but any will do)
1 1/2 Tsp Salt
1 Tsp Sugar
4 Tbsp Lard
2/3 Cupz of sour milk or buttermilk (sour the milk with lemon juice or just use sour milk (not rotten of course))
Preheat oven 450 F
Sift the flour, salt, and sugar together in a sifter into a bowl.
Cut in the shortening with a pastry blender.
Put the milk or buttermilk in using a fork.
Knead the dough a few times but not too many.
Cut the biscuits and put em close together on the baking pan.
Cook for approx 12 minutes
Serve with sausage gravy or butter.
Chicken cubez or broth 3 cupz
3.5 Tbsp flour
Cook the sausage and put the kettle on for the 3 cupz of water to boil.
Put the cubez in before the water boils.
Put the sausage aside, leave the grease in the cast iron skillet.
Whisk the flour into the grease. If ya need to add more oil to it to make a roux then add a lil peanut oil.
Once it cooks a little add some milk like 1/2 a cup or something whisk it in over low heat.
add some broth and whisk it some more, bring it to a boil over high, then when it boils drop the heat back down to off or low.
It should start to thicken so you can add some more broth and whisk it.
Add a lil salt and pepper.
Put the crumbled sausage back in.
Keep adding the broth or stopping depending on the consistency that you desire.
Serve over toast or biscuits.
Bun or bread
pickles (sandwich sliced)
Provelone cheese (if desired)
1.Sear the sliced ham a bit
2. Put the mustard on the bread or bun or whatever
3.Put the rest of the stuff on it and fry the sandwich in the melted butter over medium flames
Shrimp Po boy Sandwich
Siriacha or Louisiana Hot sauce
Tomato slices (salted)
Frozen Breaded shrimp
Start cooking the frozen breaded shrimp
Get a small cup out and mix the mayo with hot sauce(s) to desired spicyness
Slice the tomatoes and salt the slices
Smear the mayonnaise/hot sauce mix on the sub rolls
Put tomato slices on em
Put the lettuce on it
Add more hot sauce (if you are like me)
Put the breaded shrimps on there after they're done cooking
Cut the sandwiches and serve them with Pabst Blue Ribbon beer and potato chipz
Chicken Fried Steak
Cubed Pork cutlets
Self rising flour
A Plastic bag
Get the pork cutlets out onto the counter
Put about 1.5 Cupz of the flour in the plastic bag
Add some Adolf's, Paprika, and Garlic powder to it according to your liking (smell it i guess for the proper strength) add the salt in, but not too much cuz its in the Adolf's
Put the bread crumbz in it, like 1/3-1/2 Cup
Coat the cutlets in the bag, then shut the bag and toss them around a bit.
Fridgerate the cutlets (steaks)
Heat up some peanut oil about 1/2 inch or so in a cast iron skillet or dutch oven
make sure the oil is hot enough by putting a popcorn seed in it and when it pops it is ready
Then after a bit take your steaks outta the fridge and start cooking them. Make sure the oil is hot enough but not to its smoke point, that is the beauty of using peanut oil as it has an extra high smoke point.
Takes a few minutes a side and use tongs to remove them to a wire rack inside a warm oven if it is winter.
Easy Everything Italian Bread (Requires Bread Machine)
(Place these ingredients in the bread machine)
1 Cup of very warm or hot water (Run it hot from the sink)
2 tsp sugar
4tsp peanut or other vegetable oil
2 3/4 Cup Hudson Creamery Bread Flour (or other bread flour I guess)
2 1/4 tsp (1 Packit of Rapid Rise Yeast Put it in a well in the middle of the flour with your finger until it hits water/wet)
Put the "dough" cycle on it should show 1:30 1 hours 30 minutes on the display (2lb loaf)
Check on the dough as it starts to mix up, it should look like a ball of dough going around the center and bouncing off of the sides. If it does not and there is too much on the sides then add about 1-2 tbsp of milk.
Check on it again and make sure the ball is forming. If it isn't, then add more milk til it does.
Go watch tv for a while its gonna be a bit before the next step. (1hr30min)
Once it is done, punch down the dough in the center.
Turn out the dough onto a floured parchment lined sheetpan or if you use foil on the small dark sheetpan like i did then you should be fine.
Smooth flour (a lil) over the top and slash the top at regular intervals.
Use Some plastic wrap over top for a while 20 min over your warming up oven set to 375 degrees
After the 20 minutes is up then get a tea towel out and run it under hot water, squeeze it out until it is damp and drape it over the top of the bread in a warm place for another 20 min.
Get a egg, crack it into a cup or bowl and put 1-2 Tbsp water and a touch of olive oil into the cup and fork it around until blended.
Use a pastry brush +eggwash to paint the loaf. Sprinkle great value Everything bagel (Walmart Brand, of course) seasoning all over it.
Bake 375 degree for 30 minutes then cool on a wire rack. (I use an old toaster oven rack in my picture but you can use whatever)
(I just realized that the everything seasoning sucks and you ought to just put sesame seeds or poppy seeds on it or some crap, that shit is way too salty)
Sweet Pumpernickel Rye Bread
(Requires bread machine)
Put these ingredients in the hopper:
1 1/4 C Warm water
3Tbsp packed brown sugar
1Tbsp cocoa powder
1Tbsp veg oil or peanut oil
2Tbsp Molasses (Brer Rabbit)
2C Hudson Creamery Bread Flour
1 1/2 C Rye Flour (Bobs red mill)
1 Packet Rapid Yeast (Red Star)
-Put it on whole wheat cycle with Light crust option.
-Check on it, if it is not forming a ball then add small amounts of milk or water until it does get sticky and form sticky ball.
-Cool on wire rack when done as it will get wet if you let it sit in the machine because of condensation.
You will need:
Thick sliced ham
4 egg yolks (separated into a bowl or cup)
1.5 Tbsp lemon juice
1 Stick of butter
Small pinch of cayenne (red) pepper
1/4 cup of boiling water
Double boiler (I have a Bonjour French double boiler, its great for this and melting chocolate and stuff)
First set your oven to warm (approx 170 degrees and put a metal sheetpan in there.
Put water in the double boiler and dump your stick of butter in the top so it can melt over med. heat.
Sear the ham on a skillet and toast the english muffins
Set the ham and the english muffins in the warm oven while you tackle the rest.
Start boiling some water in an electric kettle or stovetop kettle.
Whisk the melted butter around.
Break up the egg yolks with a fork.
Dump the boiling water into the pyrex measure cup to 1/4 cup and then dump it in the double boiler whisking the whole time. Put the egg yolks, lemon juice, salt and cayenne pepper in whisking the whole time extremely fast.
Keep whisking until the sauce thickens
Don't stop whisking, turn off the burner and remove from the heat when ready. Should be pale yellow and creamy, keep whisking at least slowly.
Put the english muffins on the plates, top with ham slices and pour the hollandaise sauce over top. Sprinkle with a tiny amount of cayenne pepper over the top and serve.
Squirrel and Biscuits
1 or 2 squirrels (dead preferably )
2-3 tbsp butter
1/3 C flour
chicken broth 2 cupz
milk 1 cup
celery 2 sticks diced
onion 1/2 diced
Basically the procedure is thus follows:
Shoot the squirrel and make sure it is dead.
Chop the feet off, cut through the back and pull skin off.
Chop the head off and pull out the entrails after cutting around the ass.
Put in cold salt water for a while.
Pressure cook the meat in the chicken broth and some Adolf's tenderizer. (2hours)
The meat should fall off the bones when you're done, if it does not then cook it for longer.
Once you have separated and chopped up the meat into short pieces then saute the vegetables
Put the gravy together and put the vegetables and meat into the gravy.
Serve over or under biscuits depending on if you oven baked the gravy (with meat and all) or whatever the hell happened.
Just use your imagination to try to come up with more ways to eat the chicken of the tree.
Chinese-italian style shrimp and noodles dinner (not authentic but still good)
You will need:
A box of Tai Pei frozen egg rolls
A bag of frozen peeled de veined raw shrimp
A bag of linguini noodles
Air fryer or oven
Put the air fryer at 400 and put the eggrolls in on the rack. Should cook for 9-10 minutes until golden brown. Meanwhile:
2.Thaw the frozen shrimp under cold running water in a collendar in the sink for 7 minutes rotating them. Dry the shrimp with paper towels afterwards.While thawing the shrimp boil the water for the noodles.
3,Boil the noodles and heat up cast iron skillet over med high heat with peanut oil in it.
4. Stir the noodles periodically with fork or whatever because they'll stick together if you don't
5.dry off the shrimp again and then add em to the hot peanut oil in the skillet.
6.Sprinkle the garlic, cilantro, onion powder and ginger on the shrimp.
7.After a couple of minutes or whatever turn em over and spice the other side.
8.After shrimp look done, shut off the fire under the skillet
9. The noodles are supposed to be slightly al dente, pull one out and cut it with your fingernail to test it, should be very slightly hard in the middle. Drain the noodles in the collander.
10. Heat up some more peanut oil in the pot where you cooked the noodles and add the noodles back in. Put soy sauce over them until theyre slightly brown and turn the noodles over in the oil adding a little garlic, cilantro, and ginger to them to season.
11. Serve the noodles, put the eggrolls on the side and the shrimp on the top.